WATCH: White House Spokesnut Makes A Total A$s of Herself Defending Trump’s Bullsh!t Tweets

in Daily New Bite/Republican Lies by

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is what you’d get if Baghdad Bob had “graduated” from home school and bible college with an internship at the Ark Encounter creationist theme park.

Her well-honed ability to bend the meanings of words to their absolute limits with doe-eyed innocence would instantly qualify her for any Republican PR job, but it makes her a perfect Deputy White House Press Secretary for ‘Presidential Apprentice’ Donald Trump.

Yesterday, she did her best to pretend that Trump’s bizarre accusations about wiretapping at Trump Tower are worthy of genuine investigation, exasperating ABC’s Martha Raddatz. Appearing on NBC’s Today Show this morning, Sanders whined that “The media loves to create this false narrative against the current president but is so quick to dismiss anything under the past administration.”

She was trying to walk Trump’s Saturday morning tweets back a step when host Savannah Guthrie challenged her careful phrasing by reading his words aloud, at which point Sarah Huckabee Sanders responded as if her boss was the real victim in all of this.

In fact, she seems to regard him as a Christian martyr, complete with magical powers. “If the president walked across the Potomac, the media would report that he couldn’t swim,” she said, oblivious to heresy.

Arguing that poor Donald Trump is being held to a double standard(!), Sanders offered no proof for dubious claims that Trump Tower was wiretapped, but insisted that her boss’s Breitbart-born conspiracy theory is worthy of investigation by congressional committees because he “firmly believes” in it.

“All we’re asking for at this point through the administration is that we get down to the bottom of it and see if it did,” she said the same tone of voice that proponents of intelligent design use to obscure the fossil record. “Let’s look and let’s get the details and let’s put those out there for the American people to make a decision.”

In related news, 65% of Americans surveyed in a new CNN/ORC poll say that a special prosecutor, and not just Congress, should investigate Trump’s Russian influence scandal.

Here is the video of Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Watch the power of fact-free spin:

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