On March 6, the Baron of Buffoonery signed his second attempt to keep the filthy brown immigrants out of America. Not all of them, mind you. Specifically, he’s starting with the Scary Muslims™. No, not the Saudi ones — their leaders hold a pretty significant percentage of US debt. Not Egyptians, either. Not Lebanese, Pakistani, or especially Russian Muslims. Heck, the Russian ones aren’t even brown! In short, none of the Muslim areas that have been the source of actual threats to America. In fact, even the majority Christian nations, like Venezuela and the Philippines, which our own State Department has classified as “terrorist safe havens” are not on the list.
But the travel ban is just one aspect of Trump’s anti-immigration policies. You know who his laws would keep out? Melania Trump.
No, she’s not a Muslim. But in the guise of making it seem like the travel ban isn’t unconstitutional religious discrimination, Trump signed an order just 3 days before the larger effort that suspended the “premium processing” of H1B visas. His reasoning is unchanged since the campaign:
The H-1B program is neither high-skilled nor immigration: these are temporary foreign workers, imported from abroad, for the explicit purpose of substituting for American workers at lower pay. I remain totally committed to eliminating rampant, widespread H1B abuse and…will end forever the use of the H1B as a cheap labor program, and institute an absolute requirement to hire American workers first for every visa and immigration program. No exceptions.
You hear that, America? NO EXCEPTIONS.
Good thing there were no restrictions on H1B when Melania came here from Slovenia as a model. She availed herself of five different H1B visas, each lasting a year, and finally became a US citizen — by proving she was a working asset to the United States through the H1B program.
The poor American models whose jobs were stolen by Melania! I mean, that’s the issue here, right? If the treacherous immigrants aren’t here to blow up our buildings, surely they are here to relieve honest, God-fearing Americans of solid job opportunities, right?
'They're stealing our jobs!' Yes, Kate, with no degree, Abdi the neurosurgeon is totally stealing your job.
— Mads (@NorwegianbaIIer) January 30, 2017
I suppose Trump will have to stop outsourcing wives.