Mexico Raking In Cash On Trump’s Presidency – Umm, Hey, White House Twit, You Mad, Bro?

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On Wednesday, Mexico’s central bank, Banxico, reported record-breaking profits. The bank received 321.7 billion pesos, or $17.1 billion, as their yearly profit. This is about $4 billion MORE than the previous year’s. Ironically, they have no one to thank but Lord Cheeto for these unusually high numbers.

You may be wondering just how in the hell Trump had anything to do with this leap in Mexico’s gains. You know, the country who sends us all their rapists and murderers (give it a rest, Donny). Apparently, fear is a good motivator.

A 20 percent drop in the peso’s value against the dollar boosted the country’s foreign currency reserves, stimulating Banxico’s bottom line. The decline was mostly due to fears of what President Trump’s election would mean for the Mexican economy.

By law, these profits are shared with the Secretariat of Finance and Public Credit which is Mexico’s equivalent of the Treasury Department. Around 70 percent of these profits will be used to reduce the government’s debt.

Do you see that, Donny? Maybe what you need is a good dose of YOURSELF. Maybe foreign leaders treating you like utter garbage will be good for our economy, you orange-faced, tiny-fingered, trash-comin-out-ya-mouth prick.

RELATED: Trump Brags About 300K New Jobs, Twitters Responds: ‘Thanks, Obama!’

All of this puts a huge smile on my face as I contemplate Trump’s anger. I see that awful face turning so red you can’t even see the orange. You know he will twist this, though. He will say something along the lines of “I’m the best president for foreign countries. Period.”

Because, you know if there is ANY good news in the world, Trump is going to take credit for it. To be fair, he can take all the credit for this. He will just ignore the fact that this was not his true intent.

I also have another scenario playing in my mind: Trump demands that profit go toward his great wall. Mexico tells him to f*ck right off and builds their own wall to keep him out. They could use cheap, U.S. labor to help build it. But, that would be one more thing the Tangerine Tyrant would use to make himself a hero.

He would claim that this was his secret plan all along. And those still blindly following him will fall to their knees in praise.

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