We have decided that our readers need to laugh at least once a day, so the staff at Left Wing Nation is going to bring you a daily column called “Laugh Wing Nation” with the silliest news story we can find. We understand that politics can raise one’s blood pressure, which can be unhealthy. We also understand that it feels as though none of the news we share with our readers is particularly good. While the funny news we share may not be “good,” it will give you a smile, possibly a chuckle, and that is our goal. Welcome to the first daily installment of Laugh Wing Nation!
Florida is America’s penis (editor note: Mrs. Parker’s favorite editor lives in Florida and agrees. I live on a giant penis. Someone, save me). It’s hot. It’s muggy. It makes people do crazy things. Do you remember when people were eating other people’s faces? Casey Anthony? George Zimmerman? I rest my case. Let me introduce you to a new kind of crazy: his name is Vanderick Williams.
Williams was at a hospital in Tallahassee around 1:00 AM Friday when an officer at the hospital had to ask him to calm his tits because he was disrupting other patients in the ER. I don’t know about any of you, but if I’m sitting in an ER I’m already annoyed because I’m dying and have been waiting for four hours in an uncomfortable chair and the AC is entirely too damn cold.
Thirty-five minutes later, another officer showed up at the hospital because a person from inside the hospital, in the ER, called 911 for an ambulance to another hospital.
You guessed it: it was Mr. Williams. As he was being arrested and placed in the police cruiser, he said that he only called 911 because he “needed a ride.” The police really didn’t give two f*cks about why he called – it was apparent that the man was impaired in some way and that he was abusing resources needed for actual emergencies.
His bond was set for $500. He got that ride he was seeking, only the destination was different.