Pretend ‘Nice’ Republican, John Kasich Breaks Down Feud Between Katy Perry And Taylor Swift

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Everyone’s favorite fluffy Republican, John Kasich, is at it again, attempting to make sure we only remember him as the adorable lap dog that needs an ear scratch, when in actuality Kasich is and always will be a shrewd and staunch conservative.  Guest hosting ABC’s The View on May 24th, Ohio Governor Kasich certainly pushed that fluffy envelope to excess, making sure we all knew his hip and with it, by explaining the reason for the current feud between pop stars Taylor Swift and Katy Perry:

Well it’s shocking to everybody,” Kasich replied without missing a beat. “Don’t ever steal anybody’s dancers, is the message,” he added, referring to a 2014 story alleging that Perry swiped Swift’s back-up dancers ahead of a concert tour. Perry confirmed the back-up dancer issue was the source of the beef in a “Late Late Show” appearance this week.

“Maybe they’re just trying to get some extra press, although I don’t know that Taylor Swift needs any more press,” Kasich continued. “In fact, she kind of went into hiding, and now they say she’s going to reemerge with a new sound.”

Kasich, a father of two teenage girls, went on to explain some of Swift’s more recent musical history.

“She put out the song ‘I Don’t Wanna Live Forever’ with Zayn [Malik], this One Direction guy,” he said. “Then she wrote this song with Calvin Harris, who’s a big DJ.”

Yes, really, a former presidential candidate has vocal opinions and problem-solving strategies for the music industry’s pop elite. Quick, let me plop down in my magenta-hued beanbag, kick off my flip flops and ruminate on what a great guy Kasich actually i….wait a f*ckin’ hot minute, no he damn well isn’t.

Don’t let Daytime TV Kasich fool you. It’s not hard to see why those on the left crack a goofy smile or breathe a little deeper when they listen to Kasich on the media. I mean, compared to the batsh*t, nuckin futs Cirque de Soleil we have spinning around DC right now, Kasich seems like the comforting house cat you immediately go to pet when visiting a colleague for dinner. He’s the reassuring face of what once was, and maybe even what could again be and don’t for a second forget that, because’s he’s counting on it.

RELATED: Kasich ‘Explains’ The Bible to Talmud Scholars And Makes A Fool Of Himself (VIDEO)

He’s literally wooing the centrist Dem vote. Just ask Twitter:


Kasich has declared he will never run for the White House again, but in this climate of “who the f*ck knows* anymore, I’ll believe that when I see it. All you have to do is look at John Kasich’s track record to see this gossamer veneer is complete horsesh*t. Are you trying to tell me in the space of a year his decades-long, deeply held regressive policies have been replaced by Perez Hilton’s blog? That his campaign tax policy which was effectively a windfall for the wealthy has suddenly given way to Katy Perry’s shade throwing? Or that when he gleefully signed a bill that stripped Planned Parenthood of $1.3 million for his own state, he was really imagining the day he could appear on The View and artificially mediate Katy and Taylor’s squabble? Just as I’m sure he’s cast aside his deep help position that gays shouldn’t be allowed to adopt, or that charter schools are the wave of the future. Need I go on?

I think Diane sums it up nicely.

That’s ok folks, he’s got the skinny on Taylor and Katy’s feud over back up dancers.  *Plops into beanbag*

RELATED: Ohio Republicans Are Not Impressed By Governor Kasich’s Plans For The State

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