Hillary Clinton’s Extramarital Affair With Barack Obama

in Left Wing Nation by

Did you know that Hillary Clinton had a black lover? And that it might be Barack Hussein Obama? Or that Bernie Sanders is in league with the Jew bankers to topple the United States? Oh, it’s true because I saw it on the internet!

If you haven’t heard these stories or something similar yet, you almost certainly will once either Sanders or Clinton wins the nomination. On their face, such “rumors” are ridiculous but they’ll still be spread and, even more annoyingly, they’ll be swallowed hook, line and sinker by the right-wing. If you think I’m unfairly “painting with a broad brush,” you haven’t been paying the slightest bit of attention to conservative politics for the last seven years.

Since BEFORE he won the 2008 election, then-Senator Obama set race relations back about 50 years. He didn’t do this by being divisive or by race-baiting as Fox News so often claims. No, he did it just by existing. That is to say, white Americans saw that a black man had enough support to make a legitimate run at the presidency and promptly lost their minds. Once Obama won the presidency, white Americans reacted like someone had killed their puppy while setting their house on fire.

A black president could only mean one thing: White America was under attack!

Republicans were there to soothe their jangled nerves by telling them that only Republicans could save them from the demonic hordes of Negro crackheads that would be coming for their white women any day now. It was the Southern Strategy of harnessing white resentment writ large and it worked like gangbusters. Republicans surged to power on a platform of racial animosity unlike anything seen since the 60s. Of course, this ended up biting them in the ass. The end result of this lunacy, Donald Trump, is poised to hand them the worst electoral defeat since Barry Goldwater was crushed in 1964. But that’s a story for another time.

The point is that the GOP is currently fueled by utter hatred for a black man in “their” White House. But of the two people who are going to replace him, one is a white woman and the other is an even whiter Jewish man.

On the one hand, the right-wing is oozing with sexism as well as racism but it just doesn’t pack the same punch. A black man as president motivated tens of thousands of scared white men to buy guns and join militias. A woman simply isn’t going to inspire the same kind of visceral terror. Sure, the right played around with “Hillary’s a lesbian” thing for a while but it just won’t be the same. In order to gin up that good ol’ boy racism, Hillary is going to have to develop a sudden (and imaginary) case of “jungle fever” to feed the racial hatred so vital to conservative politics. Maybe she’ll pick a black or Latino vice president and save the GOP the effort of inventing Hillary’s Black Lover™.

On the other hand, Bernie Sanders presents an interesting problem. No matter how much they pretend to love Israel, conservatives hate hate HATE Jewish people. Go back just 25 years and it was “liberal Jew” this and “Jew media” that. But the right can’t say that out loud anymore because Republicans are too invested in painting liberals as anti-Semitic. The “liberal Jew media” is complicit in this charade as they conveniently forget to report the numerous occasions in which Republicans have cozied up with neo-Nazis, white supremacists and avowed anti-Semitics.

But the second Bernie wins the nomination, the anti-Jew faction of the right will explode in much the same way the anti-black faction did in 2008. They can barely contain their loathing of Jews now and Republicans have no interest in distancing themselves from their base. The GOP will continue to profess their undying love for Israel while giving a wink and nod to their rabidly anti-Semitic followers. At least, some of them will. Those Tea Party congresspeople from blood red districts in the Deep South won’t give a damn about angering Sheldon Adelson or anyone else. They’ll wear their anti-Jew hate on their sleeve because that’s what their constituents will want. The GOP establishment won’t attack them for it lest the overall Tea Party throw another temper tantrum. This will come between the GOP and the Jewish vote they’ve been so desperately courting. Rock, meet hard place.

It doesn’t matter which Democrat takes the White House in November, Republicans will find a way to whip the right-wing into a racist frenzy because that’s all they have left anymore. No ideas. No policies. No ability to govern. Just unadulterated rage and racism.

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I'm a stay at home dad, father to a special needs son and a special daughter, a donor baby daddy, a militantly pragmatic liberal, the president of the PTA, a hardcore geek and nerd and I'm going to change the world. Or at least my corner of it.

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