Filed Under: Wait, Rush Limbaugh Is Still On?!

in Daily New Bite by

Talk about a visit from the ghost of bigots past, Rush Limbaugh went on the air and used the shooting of the Gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo to comment on…evolution; but more importantly, RUSH LIMBAUGH IS STILL ON THE AIR?!! HOW?! His listeners know we have internet now, right?!

Honestly, I thought this guy had been booted from the air a long time ago. I grew up in a red household and I vividly remember his soothing voice serenading me with buzzwords throughout my childhood. “Liberal Monster,” “Libtards,” “Slut,” and “EIB network” were the sounds that surrounded me after a long day at school. During my 3rd grade civics class, I remember guessing “Newt Gingrich” for every representative of government my teacher asked if I could recite. Ah, indoctrination, the fuel needed to make America great again….

Anyways, Rush Limbaugh is, in fact, STILL on the air and spouting all sorts of nonsensical bullshit, per usual. This week, he took to chiming in on the shooting of the gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo, and he had to jump a lot of hoops to get his audience riled up.

  • He stated that people that oppose the capture of animals haven’t read Genesis. Not sure where he was going on that, but sure.
  • “There’s no way human beings are going to NOT be interested in animals. Gawking at them. Out on safari, and hunting them.” So, it is natural for humans to be interested in animals; to gawk and hunt them. Not sure how many of his listeners go out on safaris (excluding visits to Rainforest Café, which is a REAL JUNGLE of a place….
  • “A lot of people think that all of us used to be apes.” Not quite, but I see where the uninformed would simplify it to that.
  • “Don’t doubt me on this.” I kinda feel like I should….
  • “A lot of people think that all of us used to be gorillas.” Few things: “A lot”= most, “people”= scientists ie experts, “gorillas”= not accurate

And finally, the greatest display of logic I’ve ever seen:

“If we were the original apes, then how come Harambe (the gorilla that got shot) is still an ape? How come he didn’t become one of us?”

Good work, Mr. Limbaugh, and congratulations on still being on the airwaves, for now….

Liked it? Take a second to support Justin Hamby on Patreon!

Justin Hamby is a comedian and writer in Chicago. He regularly writes, directs, and performs sketch, plays, and improv throughout the city. He is the creator of Solid Callback Productions, and original member of Mass Street Productions; as well as an ensemble member of the Under the Gun and Public House theatres. In addition to comedy and writing, he spends his time with his wife, April, who somehow puts up with his crap. Every article he writes is another knife in the back of his conservative upbringing, something he feels bad about, but still continues to do.

Leave a Reply

Latest from Daily New Bite

Go to Top