Whenever U.S. Rep Louie Gohmert (R-TX) talks, something becomes abundantly clear: The man has the intelligence of a dishrag, but at least a dishrag is actually useful. He’s at it again this week, with one of his familiar themes. Because, after all, if you can say something stupid once, why not say it again?
In February, he claimed that the reason Bernie Sanders has been so popular is because “we let some of the hippies from the ’60s” start “teaching the teachers” at universities. He couldn’t resist trotting this gem out again on Monday on Armed America, a right-wing program for gundamentalists.
But this moron dropped the follow pearl of wisdom on the moron hosting the show:
Many of the hippies and the troublemakers from this time period began to realize that instead of “blowing up the Pentagon or blowing up police cars,” they could just become teachers. And this means, he said, “that the socialists that wanted to destroy the country in the ’60s and ‘7os have figured out you just miseducate the kids and you’re well on your way to taking over the country.”
Oh, those dirty hippies and troublemakers–trying to give students a liberal education so they can learn to think critically. Oh my gawd! I knew us dirty-rotten socialists with our Bernie Sanders ideas were up to something. I promote science whenever I can, I believe in climate change, and I do not think the Second Amendment gives people the right to bring guns into classrooms, shopping malls and Chipotle restaurants.
Goodness, what’s wrong with me? Oh that’s right, I forgot I’m normal.
But Gohmert says it’s the fault of all those baaaad teachers that “people have heard over and over how horrible guns are.”
Well yes, guns are frequently horrible because they get used to do things like kill classrooms of screaming, terrified first-graders and to send the world’s endangered species into oblivion. So guess what Louie? Guns frequently are horrible. Not all of them are; there’s nothing wrong with having a gun for legitimate protection.
But Louie has been stupid on sooo many other occasions as well. The man is a walking encyclopedia of stupid.
Here’s a few fun examples for your enjoyment:
He claimed that repealing “Don’t ask, don’t tell” would make the U.S. more vulnerable to terrorism. Why would that happen? Because all them gay soldiers will do what the ancient Greeks did–bring their lovers to the front lines to “give them massages before they go into battle.”
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense (not really). How about a nice massage before you get slaughtered on the battlefield? That way you can relax before you die.
“I’ve had people say, ‘Hey, you know, there’s nothing wrong with gays in the military. Look at the Greeks. Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved that was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into battle. But you know what, it’s a different kind of fighting, it’s a different kind of war and if you’re sitting around getting massages all day ready to go into a big, planned battle, then you’re not going to last very long. It’s guerrilla fighting. You are going to be ultimately vulnerable to terrorism and if that’s what you start doing in the military like the Greeks did … as people have said, ‘Louie, you have got to understand, you don’t even know your history.’ Oh yes I do. I know exactly. It’s not a good idea.”
I remember thinking “What the hell did I just read?”
I do not recall any newspaper, magazine, or TV news program telling me that our troops carry around all these gay soldiers who are being massaged all day long before being blown to smithereens in battle. I mean, this guy is in the Texass House of Representatives for criminy’s sake. Does the rest of this gang of noobs think this way?
He also thinks the Trans-Alaskan pipeline will help caribou have more frequent sex. Republicans aren’t just obsessed about gay sex, apparently they’re also obsessed with animals having sex. In a meeting of the House Natural Resources Committee, back in 2012, Gohmert pledged his support of the pipeline as way for caribou to have sex more often.
“So when [caribou] want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline. …So my real concern now [is] if oil stops running through the pipeline … do we need a study to see how adversely the caribou would be affected if that warm oil ever quit flowing?”
Does this nimrod not realize that caribou were previously doing just fine before the advent of this pipeline?
Then there was The Great Cat and Rare Canids Act, which Congress passed. Louie seems to do an awful lot of worrying about animals, and he spoke out against this measure, saying:
“There is no assurance that if we did that we wouldn’t end up with moo goo dog pan or moo goo cat pan. There is no way to assure that money will not be wasted when it’s sent to foreign countries.”
Does he ever even stop to think about what he’s saying? People have been eating dogs and cats both wild and domestic and it’s why so many activists like myself protest this atrocity. And whether he likes it or not, this law was passed to protect these wild creatures.
And lastly, there’s this one, where he started out talking about limits for the amount of ammunition gun magazines can carry and then weirdly side-stepped into a discussion of gay marriage and bestiality.
“And I pointed out, well, once you make it 10, then why would you draw the line at 10? What’s wrong with nine? or 11? And the problem is once you draw that limit — it’s kind of like marriage when you say it’s not a man and a woman anymore, then why not have three men and one woman, or four women and one man, or why not somebody has a love for an animal? There is no clear place to draw the line once you eliminate the traditional marriage, and it’s the same once you start putting limits on what guns can be used, then it’s just really easy to have laws that make them all illegal.”
There he goes with the animals again. And someone needs to explain to me what the number of bullets a magazine can hold has to do with marriage. Does this guy have to remind himself to exhale, to put one foot in front of the other when he walks?
And then of course, it hits me. People actually elected this fool. What does that say about the people who put him in office?