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Creationist Park With ‘Life Size’ Noah’s Ark Blames Atheists For Its Failing Business

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Religious entrepreneurs trying to cash in on the Bible’s appeal as a tourist attraction are blaming the failure of their life-size Noah’s Ark attraction on the fake news media and atheists. Apparently, when the attraction didn’t draw the crowds that investors and taxpayers were promised it would, people in the media and on secular blogs reported on the low turnout. Which, according to the Ark Encounter’s creators, then caused it to fail. Lol. Because it wasn’t failing already.

The ark-themed attraction is the brainchild of Answers in Genesis, a ministry group that received YUGE tax breaks from the State of Kentucky while building the park. Employees of the park must agree with the Ark Encounter’s “Statement of Faith”, which requires them to profess:

That homosexuality is a sin on par with bestiality and incest, that the earth is only 6,000 years old, and that the bible is literally true.


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The park was expected to draw record crowds and tourist dollars to the state, but since opening the numbers have been about half of what was forecasted. According to the head of AiG Ken Ham, the park’s failure can be attributed to bad press:

Recently, a number of articles in the mainstream media, on blogs, and on well-known secularist group websites have attempted to spread propaganda to brainwash the public into thinking our Ark Encounter attraction is a dismal failure. Nowadays, it seems very few reporters in the secular media actually want to report facts regarding what they cover as news. When it comes to reporting on theologically conservative Christians like those of us at AiG, whose ideology they strongly oppose, many writers have an agenda to undermine Christianity as they file their stories.

Can anyone say “pity party?”

Unsurprisingly, Ham’s allegations are untrue. The reports on the park not doing as well as expected were based on actual facts that the park was *ahem* not doing as well as expected. Estimated to draw up to 2.2 million visitors annually, at the end of its first year, the park still has not hit 1 million. The disappointing numbers spell trouble for the taxpayers of the State of Kentucky, who provided AiG with millions of dollars in tax breaks, bonds, and cash gifts to help subsidize the project. Steve Wood, a judge-executive who was elected after the incentives were ear-marked, says he was shocked by the subsidies and that the deal was unfair to taxpayers. States Wood,

It was a shock for me because I didn’t really know all the details. Maybe I should have… It’s a really bad deal for taxpayers.

Why isn’t God stepping in and drawing people to this fine attraction made for His honor? One would think that if He were really all-powerful He would help His children to succeed, bad press or no. Maybe the taxpayers of the great state of Kentucky are not devout enough?


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9 Comments

    • You are, of course, lying. But that’s to be expected from the Bible Bunch. It’s pretty much all you have.

  1. Maybe human beings are finally waking up tho the fact that their gods, their jesus and their bibles are the figments of man-made imagination. Ham will bankrupt (sound familiar?) and walk away from all of this with big bucks in his pocket – he scammed Kentucky out of nearly $100,000,000, plus tax advantages. The tax payers of Kentucky will be left with the task of dismantling this monstrosity of distorted human imagination.

  2. Is there a section for the part where Noah then delivered penguins to Antarctica, kangaroos et al to Australia, etc?
    Is there an explanation for how light didn’t have refractive qualities prior to the deluge?
    Speaking of deluge, are we to understand climate change is a hoax, but the entire world was flooded?
    Yeah, the only proper response to ridiculous claims is ridicule.

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